I have found that God’s way is the most painless way to live life although it often requires some short-term sacrifices. Jesus is quoted as telling His followers to take His yoke upon them and that His yoke is light. A yoke is a type of harness that connects two animals together. It is a burden. The burden of Christ is the lifestyle He commands them to follow. When He says His burden is light, this is in contrast to the alternative. I can either live the way God would have me live, or I can do my own thing. In the short term, doing things my way often looks to be easier and more fun but in the long term, I always regret it when I do things my way instead of God’s way.
God’s way is of love, freedom and tolerance. The apostle James defined true religion as helping the poor, widows and orphans. Jesus told his disciples that others would know them by their love for one another. God’s way calls for us to treat each other kindly. To love our enemies and be good to those who persecute us. God calls us to be honest with each other. God’s way is to be loyal. These are all positive character traits that are upheld by many world religions. Christianity can be distinguished from other religions by the fact that these good works are not done to gain salvation or to please God. Christian obedience is a response to what God has already done for them. That said, polls show that only about 25% of Christians grasp that.
Living for God is what I call the path of no regrets. What if, when my life comes to an end I somehow learn that God doesn’t exist and that this life is all there is? I would not regret living a good life. I would not regret being honest and kind. I would not regret helping the poor and ministering to the sick. Let there be no doubt. The historical evidence for the Resurrection of Jesus Christ is substantial enough to convince me that the Bible is valid and Jesus is real. My point is that while I do live for Christ with the hope of eternal life as He promised, the life He has commanded me to live is a path of no regrets.
Choosing to follow God does not mean everything will always go well. Plan A doesn’t work out for most people – even Christians. Many good Christian believers experience tragedy in life. Some may lose their job or go bankrupt. Some become ill and struggle with their health. Some may experience an ugly divorce. Others have to deal with rebellious children, drug addiction and incarceration. The unexpected death of a loved one is also something that happens even to faithful followers of Christ. Looking for God’s will even in the midst of tragedy still provides the path of no regrets.
Religious Trauma Syndrome (RTS) is a real condition that happens when people are raised in overbearing religious homes or members of overbearing churches. Those that suffer from RTS have been immersed in a controlling religious environment. That often occurs as a child but can also occur as an adult. Some psychological professionals are skeptical that RTS is just a newly made-up disorder. Some religious folks are suspicious that it is a disorder that was made-up to discredit organized religions. I am less skeptical because my work with recovering addicts and alcoholics has put me in contact with many that seem to suffer from RTS.
RTS is not something caused by a belief in God. Several studies have shown religious people as a collective group benefit from religious experiences. Religious people tend to have better health – both physical and mental. When they do get sick, they tend to recover faster. They tend to be happier in life, suffer less from anxiety and depression and even have healthier relationships with people around them.
For many years evangelical Christians have stated that Christianity is not a religion, it is a relationship. Of course, Christianity is a religion if we go by the dictionary definition of what religion is. However I can see the point the evangelicals are trying to make. Many historically great theologians, from Martin Luther to Dietrich Bonhoeffer, have embraced the concept that Christianity is distinct from religion. The English word religion comes from a Latin word which means to be bound or tied. The purpose of Jesus, it is pointed out, was to free us from bondage. Many New Testament passages refer to Jesus making us free and releasing us from bondage. When the word religion is mentioned in the Bible, it is often mentioned in a negative context. Religion is described by these Christian theologians as a set of rules and teachings to be adhered to. Certainly many Christian groups have slipped into that definition but the point these theologians have tried to make is that they shouldn’t. Christianity should be distinct from religion.
In Christianity, Jesus, as a man and a deity, is the focus. Jesus stated that He was the resurrection. He was the life. He was the way. He was the truth. There are many religions in the world that have teachings. Most of those religions have excellent teachings. Some are a bit more oppressive. Regardless if they are excellent or oppressive, they are simply teachings. Certainly a living Savior that listens to and cares for His followers is something distinctive about Christianity. It is undeniable that Christianity has teachings associated with it. Following Jesus includes obeying His teachings. There is no avoiding the link between them. However unlike other religions, Christianity is not Christianity without the relationship between the believer and Jesus.
Jesus tied a relationship with Him to the law of God when He said, “If you love Me, keep My Commandments” (John 14:15). These Commandments are intended to free the believer and not bind him. The Apostle James called the Commandments “the law of liberty” (James 1:5). Solomon wrote that he who keeps the Commandments is happy (Prov. 29:18). Jesus characterized a relationship with Him as relief from a burdensome life. “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” (Matthew 11:28, 29). So while having a relationship with Jesus includes obeying His Commandments, those same Commandments are to free the believer and not bind him or her.
Unfortunately many so-called Christians take the law of God and turn it into a burden. Then they impose their warped concept of God’s law on others. This process can be overbearing and oppressive. The law which God gave to free us from the burden of sin is itself used to control and oppress. That very thing was going on by the organized church at the time that Jesus lived on earth. The New Testament is full of stories of Jesus, and later the Apostles, scolding the religious leaders of that time for turning liberty into oppression. That is where RTS comes from.
Parents are to train their children in their religious faith. The greatest influence comes from the parent’s example. Parents need to model a healthy relationship with Jesus for their children to follow. Parental control in spiritual matters needs to slowly decrease as the children advance through their teenage years. While children should attend church with their parents as long as they live at home, there are many areas where the child can be given more and more choice in spiritual matters as they get older and older. The parents’ responsibility is to expose the children to the truth so the child can make an educated decision about their spiritual life. But the choice belongs to the child – not the parent. RTS is caused by overbearing parents and churches that try to make the decisions for their children or church members.
Jeff Foxworthy did a wonderful job of giving tell-tale signs of being a redneck – like if you go to a family reunion looking for a date. However the tell-tale signs of having issues with pride may be even more useful. Pride is very tricky and often those that struggle with it are unaware they have a problem. Here are some tell-tale signs that you might have an issue with pride. If you can identify with three or more of these… you might have a problem.
1. Fault finding. They seem to always see the errors in other people’s characters.
2. Gossip. Not only might they notice the errors in other people, they talk about them in a mean and uncompassionate way.
3. Worried about what others think of us. Those struggling with pride are always worried about what others are thinking of them. This is because their world is all about me, me, me. Why did she look at me that way? What is she saying about me? Do you think he noticed this or that about me?
4. Unhealthy view of God. They either think that God’s law is unreasonable or that His grace is insufficient to forgive their sin. A humble person will accept God’s law as the divine plan for his or her life and accept His grace for forgiveness and restoration.
5. Limelight. They want attention. Some want to be the life of the party. Others want everyone to feel sorry for them. Some are drama-queens always making a mountain out of a mole hill.
6. Extremely sensitive. They get their feelings hurt easily often wanting revenge. The humble person is able to ignore a lot of what others do or say but the prideful person does not understand what it means to suffer a wrong.
7. Neglectful. Pride is quick to respond to people they admire but often neglects those around them. They take friends and family for granted and do things for people that will never appreciate them (like friends and family will) and sometimes will not even acknowledge them.
So how can one overcome pride? It starts with taking a moral inventory of ourselves. I did this. I listed all my resentments and my character defects connected to each one (not the other guy’s defects). I listed all my fears and all my character defects connected with each one. Then I made a list of everyone I harmed and made amends to them accept when doing so would hurt them or others. I humbly submitted to God and came into agreement with Him. I agreed that His law is the guide for my life and His grace covers all my sin. As I became acquainted with my own defects, I became much more tolerant of others people’s defects. I started seeing others as people God wants me to minister to and stopped worrying about what they think of me.